Tuesday's Rainy Day Ramble

Yesterday, as I was talking to my adorable husband in the living room, I made a gesture with my right hand. Deep in thought and rambling away, I was confused when he interrupted me to say: "Woah! Do that again!" "Do what again?" I asked, pre-workout drink in one hand and a random gesture caressing the air with the other. "Do that thing with your arm again," he said. "What this?" I asked gesturing with my right hand, I must have looked like a tea pot, short but not stout. "Damn girl! Look at your shoulder muscles and your fuckin' bicep! They go 'ba dup da dup'." I looked down proudly. "Wow, they do." I muttered admiring my hard work. A quick movie montage played in my head as I recalled every pull-up, push-up, hammer curl, bicep curl, tricep/leg dip and any other upper body move I've done over the last 3 years. I've had a great time with my trainers: Shaun T, Autumn Calabrese and the man, my absolute favorite, Tony Horton. I am no where near the end of this fitness journey, it's just beginning. I was so impressed and proud of what my husband pointed out and all the gains I've made that I increased my weight to 12 lbs in each hand, totalling 24 lbs, for today's round of standing shoulder presses. Yet, as I think about the physical achievements I've had over the past few years, I can't help but wonder about my personal gains. Have I had any? I moved far away from home once again to chase a dream that doesn't exist. It doesn't exist because I have yet to prove that a place is the answer. The answer lies within. Duh, Becky. So now that I know that, what next? How can I ensure my external strength, the one I've been able to pay close attention to daily with nutrition and exercise, matches the potential inner strength I know I possess?

I read and listen to some type of personal development everyday. I journal every other day or so and am constantly looking for ways to improve myself, my surroundings and my relationships. Just as the physical change did not come overnight, I know the inside successes will take just as much time, probably longer. Sooooo, there's that. Feel me?

#gains #personaldevelopment #fitness